asshole

so i hear, on good authority, that i'm an asshole.
i've always wanted to be an asshole!

i wish i knew what i did to achieve such a prestigious title.
i'd probably do it more in some situations!

i found out this weekend that a certain person's parents are glad we're not seeing each other anymore because they think i was an asshole.

me?

an asshole?

now, just not liking me is one thing. hell, even considering me a low-life loser would work. but an asshole?
i'm a lot of things, but i'm not an asshole.

and because i'm not an asshole, i find the whole thing highly amusing.

the funniest part is that this person's father was unknowingly telling all this to another one of my exes. who, i am quite honored to say, stood up for me.
whoops!

the other thing i did this weekend was to go to the most fun wedding i've ever been to. it just so happened to be the wedding of my most recent ex. i had been feeling in a funk for a few days leading up to the wedding and began wondering if there were some deep emotional issues bubbling underneath the surface of my skin. there was even a moment on bart last friday where i was worried that some uncontrollable something would come out of me during the ceremony .. something really embarrassing and wrong.

no such luck.

i mean! nothing like that happened. seriously, though, i felt nothing but immense joy for the two of them. it's just so obvious they should be together. how could anyone argue with that? people kept coming up to me all during the reception saying it was 'big' of me to be there and that they were impressed. but i guess that those sentiments are assuming like there is something being hidden and/or overcome to be there .. which was not the case. i wanted to be there. i liked being there to celebrate them. there's nothing 'big' about that. and besides ... free booze!

i've decided i'm going to be jewish for my next wedding. what a party ... complete with sexual innuendo, mexican wrestling and ambulances! (this was not a sequence of events)

there's plenty of other things going on right now that i'm not going to tell you about. partially because i need to get back to work and partially because it's mine for right now.

i'm an asshole like that.