I started working out today. The beginning of a year-long commitment to go to the gym 3-days a week to build muscle, get in better shape and sweat like a smelly farm animal in front of strangers in spandex.
No, I wouldn’t be caught dead in spandex.
After a morning of bench presses, curls, flys and the like, I anticipated that tomorrow might be a sore day for my upper body.
What I didn’t expect was not being able to dry my head after my shower. Somehow my arms … just … wouldn’t … lift … above … my head.
They didn’t hurt.
They were fine a minute ago.
Good lord! I think some bizarre combination of working out and hot water shrunk my biceps!
Maybe I created so much muscle in one workout that I am not yet strong enough to use it! That must be it!
(This does not bode well for future workouts.)
In a year from now, I’ll be, like, all buff-n-shit, but I won’t be able to stand up or feed myself.
I’ll be the best in-shape invalid that ever didn’t walk the earth!
Well, everybody needs to make a name for themselves somehow.
I guess this is my destiny.
No comments:
Post a Comment