If the president were a gangsta

Reprinted , without permission, but for your pleasure ... a portion of the president's State of the Union address from Jan. 28th translated by 'Gizoogle' :

President Deliva "State of tha Union"
The U.S. Capitol

9:01 P.M. EST

THE PRESIDENT fo yo bitch ass: Mr. Pushas Vice President Cheney, memba of Congress, distinguished citizens n fellow citizens: Every year, by law n by custom, we meet hizzle ta killa tha state of tha union droppin hits. This year, we pimp in this chamba deeply aware of decisive days tizzle lie aheezee.

You n I serve our country in a tizzy of bootylicious consequence. Dur'n this session of Congress, we have tha duty ta reform domestic programs vital ta our country; we have tha opportunity ta save millions of lives abroad fizzy a terrible diseaze. We wiznill wizzork fo' a prosperity that is broadly shared, n we wiznill answa every danga n every enemy that threatens tha American people . Aint no stoppin' this shit nigga. (Applause.)

In all these days of promise n days of spendin' we can be confident. In a whirlwind of change n hope n peril, our faith is sure, our resolve is firm, n our union is strong cuz its a pimp thang. (Applause.)

This country has many challenges. We wizzay not deny, we wizzay not ignore, we will not pass along our problems ta otha Congresses, ta otha presidents, n pimp generizzles fo shizzle. (Applause.) We wizzle confront thizzay wit focus n clarity n courage . Real niggas recognize the realness..

Dur'n tha last two years, we have seen wizzy can be accomplished whizzen we wizzay nigga . Nigga get shut up or get wet up. To lift tha standards of our public schools, we achieved historic education reform -- whiznich miznust now be carried out in every schoo' n in every classroom, so that every child in America can read n learn n succeed in life. (Applause.) To protect our country, we reorganized our government n created tha Department of Homeland Securizzles which is mobiliz'n against tha threats of a new era ridin' in mah double R. To bring our economy out of recession, we delivered tha largest tax relief in a generizzles. (Applause.) To insist on integrity in American business we passed tough reforms, n we is hold'n corporate criminals ta account. (Applause.)

Some miznight cizzall this a good record; I cizzall it a good start. Tonight I ask tha Hizouse n Senate ta join me in tha next bold steps ta serve our fellow citizens puttin tha smack down.

Our F-to-tha-izzirst goal is clear so bow down to the bow wow: We must have an economy thizzat grows fizzle enough ta employ every dawg n woman who seeks a job. (Applause.) Brotha recession, terrorist attacks, corporate scandals n stiznock market declines, our economy is recover'n -- yet it's not sippin' fizzay enough, or strongly enough. Wit unemployment blingin' our nation needs mizzy small businizzles ta open, mizzy companies ta invest n expand, more employa ta put up tha sign tizzy says, "Help Wanted." (Applause.)

Jobs is created wizzle tha economy grows; tha economy grows when Americans hizzle more money ta spend n invest; n tha best n fairest way ta makes sure Americans hizzy tizzle money is not ta tax it away in tha fizzay place . Im crazy, you can't phase me. (Applause.)

I am propos'n tizzy all tha income tax reductions set fo' 2004 n 2006 be made permanent n effective this year. (Applause.) And shot calla mah pliznan, as soon as I sign tha B-to-tha-izzill, this extra money wizzill stiznart dippin' up in worka' paychecks . Ya fuck with us, we gots to fuck you up. Instead of gradually reduc'n tha marriage penalty, we should do it now . Holla!. (Applause.) Instead of slowly rais'n tha child credit ta $1,000, we should send tha checks ta American families now . Im crazy, you can't phase me. (Applause.)