Black & White

What do the Violent Femmes, the Village People and Minne Driver all have in common?

They were all performing at last night's Black and White Ball in San Francisco. Before last night, I was a B&W virgin and now I feel like I am a real man. I didn't intend to go, but a great friend with good connections said, "Hey, I can get you a free ticket ... do you want to go?" How can you say no?

It all began innocently enough. We met in the press room at the Symphony to begin drinking and gathering. At 9pm we went out into the Civic Center which was blocked off to non-ticket holders and immersed ourselves in the swarms of people dressed to kill. Though the theme was "black and white" - anything goes - the majority of people were dressed in expensive formal-wear (tuxes and suits, dresses and gowns) and came off as if the $200 or so cost of the ticket was insignificant pocket change. Of course, there were also the younger, hipper crowd in more daring and stylish apparel, including my posse all mixed in.

With an abundance of free drinks, food and Krispy Kreme donuts, most of the night is somewhat of a blur. The Violent Femmes were definitely a high point of the evening - still able to rock regardless of receding hairlines and formal-wear. We became "those people" for awhile and pushed our way to the front row, stepping on toes, nudging and prodding so we could get the best view - but this is all acceptable when led by a few beautiful women. It's quite a scene to see hordes of people of all ages dressed in tuxes pseudo-moshing. It was well worth my price of admission.

Later we found the Charlie Hunter Trio in the Asian Art Museum and munched on some Sushi and drank Saketinis (a sake version of a Martini). That was followed by the latter part of the Village People act - all culminating in a drunken rendition of YMCA. Watching these guys on stage made me wonder how on earth they ever got gigs outside of gay-friendly towns. I had no idea as a kid that they were anything but a bunch of guys who dressed up in all the costumes of the people I wanted to be when I grew up ... a cop, a construction worker, a biker ... an indian? But now that I am older, it is clear they are the poster boys of gay pride. I wonder who are tops and who are bottoms?

What made the night for me, however, was a woman I'll call 'C'. She was a friend of a friend with whom I totally hit it off. We flirted shamelessly all night and made each other laugh non-stop. The kicker is ... she's in a relationship. Of course, I didn't find this out until halfway through the night after others were saying how good we looked together. Nevertheless, that information didn't sour the evening and certainly didn't end the flirting. In fact, I think flirting becomes a little more fun when you know the parameters of what is possible. And it's new for me to be able to be expressive about how much I like a woman without feeling guilty about it or like it's wrong to feel that way. I'll admit, though, that it would be better if she wasn't in a relationship - better for me at least! She did say if I was able to get her 2 hats that said 'security', she would seriously consider dumping her boyfriend. Alas ... I only found one.

At the end of the ball we went to some other party in the Mission that one of the group had been invited to. A totally different crowd playing a mix of 80's pop to AC/DC, Guns-n-Roses and everything in between. We met the San Francisco clone of Jack Black who managed to pick up every woman in the room (literally) and spin her about and toss her around. Some loved it, some didn't ... but it was awesomely funny nonetheless ... walking that fine line between outrageous and dangerous.

At around 3:30 it was time to call it quits and go home. I woke up this morning totally appreciating my friends, this city and the freedom Summer brings.