dear blog

dear blog,

what can i say? life is good these days. there continues to be so much up in the air and i'm a little worried about finding a good job soon, but i know it will all come about as it should.

the past weekend was one of the best i can remember in recent months. it's hard to believe that just a few months ago i was wondering how i was going to make it to the next day and then noticing myself in a time where i wanted every second to last forever. it occurs to me that this is the type of thing i would write had i just fallen in love, but that's not it. in fact, it's probably better than that because the joy i'm feeling is intrinsic rather than a result of any other person coming into my life.

so what was this past weekend all about? it was the 7th annual campout event that the rhythm society has created. i co-lead the event with my partner in crime, shanti. we had a stellar team that allowed me to trust them so much that i was able to let go of being "on" all the time and, for the first time, was able to relax for most of the event and play and interact without the nagging feeling that i should be checking on something. i felt at peace.

in addition to that, it felt so good to have created an event where, everywhere you looked, there were people laughing and smiling and dancing and the air was just filled with joy and openness and freedom - freedom from stress, from worry, from tension. i met some amazing people and connected with others that i have known peripherally for a long time, but have never really spoken with at length.

i also got treated like a king a few times. thursday night i was given a shoulder and neck massage by one friend while being fed pie by another. saturday afternoon i was given an hour and half long massage during which a second massuese joined in. 4 hand massage? booyah!

it was also a very musical weekend for me. on friday, i played my drum kit along with a DJ for awhile. on saturday, i participated in a small, impromptu drum circle that drew a small crowd of dancers, poi spinners and hula-hoopers. later that night, i played my kit again with a small unpracticed band while the masses (200+ people) ate dinner on the lawn. and on sunday i DJ'd for the first time. that was the most fun of all ... playing music i love (really loud!) for dozens of naked people dancing and swimming and lounging around the pond. a few people even came up to me to tell me it was their favorite DJ set of the weekend. oh my!

the land up at camp and sons is blessed. i noticed that as soon as i arrived, i relaxed and felt an innate sense of peace and joy. they've done a lot to infuse the land with creativity, positivity and love. jane and walter are very generous and gracious hosts and i am thankful that we found them so many years ago and continue to return each year.

i think the best part of the weekend overall was how well i dealt with the parts of me that get down on myself about certain things. i was fairly easily able to cast those thoughts aside and just 'be'. that felt good.

well, as is usual, i tend to poop out on writing before all my thoughts are expressed and, well, you'll just have to deal. the weather has been outrageously gorgeous this past week and it's just too damn nice to sit inside and type at a computer ...