in briefs

The fruit of my loom, my family jewels, if you will, are now gently tucked away in $20 underwear.

When did a single f*in pair of mens underwear become $20? Really now. Is that necessary?

I went to Macy's after school today to look for a few articles of clothing for the gym. My friend J and I are starting a 3-day/week workout regimen and I figured maybe it would be nice to (a) not look like a grub, and (b) have some support for the team.

When I first got to the store I asked a clerk if they carried any men's athletic wear. The woman said, "Well, we have some Nike and Adidas over there, but I don't think it's for athletics". I told her that I was looking for something to wear to the gym and she repeated, "Well, we carry Nike and Adidas, but I don't think it's for the gym or for sports or anything".

When I got to the Nike and Adidas section, it was all running clothes and basketball jerseys, etc. Apparantly you don't actually wear this stuff to be athletic anymore. On the contrary, people don't even want their athletic wear to get dirty. It's really all about fashion.

*@#(*^$@^!*(&^#$@($! Excuse me, but isn't athletic wear for athletes!? Aren't you supposed to get a little sweaty while wearing athletic wear? ISN'T IT DESIGNED FOR PEOPLE WHO PLAY SPORTS OR USE THE GYM!?

I am very depressed.

Anyway, after realizing that they only make athletic wear for fashion and that it only comes in sizes XL, XXL, and XXXL anyway, I decided I would just buy some socks and underwear. I had some money leftover on a gift card that I got for Christmas which is why I decided to go to Macy's in the first place.

So, when I get to the underwear section, my choices are Polo Ralph Lauren, 2Xist, Tommy Hilfigur, Puma, etc. and a single pair of boxer briefs cost between $18-$26. For fucks sake!

I had $18 left on the gift card. So, I went to Macy's and all I got was this lousy pair of underwear.

I've decided for $18 they are good enough to wear without pants.
Tomorrow, I am only wearing my brand new underwear