the warrior

changes are happening in my life recently. this reluctant optimist over here started paying attention to his thought patterns. stopped listening to the ones that were stopping him so much, turned up the volume on the ones that sang the tune he wanted to hear. it's all just a story anyway, why not choose the one we want?

for most of my life i've felt pretty small and weak. makes no difference whether or not there is any truth to that image. but why not create one that i want? how about ... the warrior. the one who kicks ass in every area of his life. the one who is free. the one who stands up for his convictions.

i get more and more how much a game this all is. life. i used to hear that phrase and felt like it cheapened life b/c i didn't understand what it meant. i took "game" to mean 'trite', that life was a whim. but that's not what it means.

i've spent too much of my life thinking certain thoughts such as: i am not good enough, i am not smart enough, i am not good looking enough and finding evidence to support those thoughts. ignoring the fact that i could be having the exact opposite thoughts: i am good enough, i am smart enough, i am good looking and find as much evidence to support those thoughts. that's the game. it's all a story. every moment is new. there is no past, there is no future. all that is, is now. make it whatever you want it to be. so maybe life itself is not the game, but how we chose to live it is.

consciousness in every moment and every action/absence of action is a choice. free from the constraint of useless self-limitations. not free from fear, necessarily, or worry or doubt ... but free to make choices when confronted with any emotion or situation. a victim to nothing. responsible for every choice made or not made.

so why not play with archetypes?

kind-hearted warrior. vigilant. compassionate. unapologetic. present.

sure beats the hell out of thinking that i can't do something or i am not good enough. and thusfar, the experiment is working. things are appearing in my life that weren't available to me before. perhaps that's just a matter of me not looking, perhaps it's a metaphysical phenomenon ignited by thought patterns and energy, perhaps it's all just random. who knows? does it matter?

what matters to me is fun, joy, growth, love, and connection. and so that is the framework that i'm choosing to see my life through. i'll keep you posted.