frame of reference

up late.
can't sleep.

i was hanging out with my friend marie tonight from LIT
we got to talking about life and what we want

i've been cognizant these past few days of a perspective shift

i first became aware of it in regards to these exams i have coming up
my expression to others about them and studying had been focused entirely on how hard they are and how much work it is. there was some underlying need to be recognized for all that i am doing and some semi-conscious desire to prove something by that relating.
this isn't an unfamiliar pattern and one that i know i've picked up from others in my life as it seems pretty common to hear a lot of people talk about 'how bad they've got it'. there's some odd bonding around how 'shit ain't right'.

over the weekend, when i was talking to prudence, we talked about how language and other forms of communication create our reality ... and it occured to me that the way i was talking about these exams and studying, things like: "i don't know how i'm going to get ready for this," and "i can't believe how much work i have to do" (etc.) was not serving me at all.

so i decided to change my frame of reference, my perspective. at least internally. and i started telling myself how i was going to get the work done and i was going to do well on the exam.

it's made a difference. i feel more positive and sure of myself. it hasn't effected my motivation to study or my focus yet, but i think that that is possible.

since then, i've started to apply that to the rest of my life.

yes, i know, this is an age old concept - the power of positive thinking - but i'd like to take it one step further. and that is to create the life that i want by creating that possibility in my mind and in my language.

in talking with marie tonight, i had this thought about work. one of the things that i know i want is to be working alongside people who inspire me, who are inspired, and who i have fun with. in my life, these people are my friends and many of them are those in my communities. i also want to do work that i think is meaningful and making a positive impact in people's lives.

the thought was ... i am sure that there is an abundance of people in my communities who are talented, motivated, inspired and unhappy in their work. is it possible ... would it be what i truly want ... to find a group of these people with various skills and start a company? it sounds so exciting. the opportunity to work with people that i respect, admire and trust. people who i know are dedicated to creating the lives that they want for themselves. people who are willing to create a company that rests on the same values we all share around integrity, inspiration, social change, honesty, service, quality ... a place of intense accountability via love and support. an environment bursting with creativity and sweat. an atmosphere of fun, hard work and relaxation - knowing when to work and when to play and when to rest.

healthy, vibrant, successful. in our lives. in our work.

it's possible, yes.
is this what i want?
shall i make it happen?

the question is ... what would it be? what is the vision that would bind us together? that ... that i don't have at this point which is an obstacle. if this is something that is meant to be, then i believe by keeping these thoughts present, something will come forward. some indication of what is to be.

regardless of how it comes about, what i wrote about above encompasses a lot of what i want in a work environment. i am open to that looking a number of different ways and i am excited to get even more clear on what it is i want.

time to stop focusing so much on what i don't want and more so on what i do want. i think it's important to know what i don't want, but not to focus on it.

if our thoughts do indeed create our reality ... then it's time to focus forward and make room for that reality to unfold.