Thursday, October 21, 2004

you heard it here first

Let's see ... what was I going to write about ...

Well, let me get this out of the way: GO SOX!

I'm not a huge baseball fan anymore, but I did live in Boston for seven years, so I'm pretty pleased that the Sox came back from 3 games down to win the division. Just goes to show that people can pull things off when everyone expects them to fail.

Okay, that is probably the only time I will ever write about baseball on my blog, let alone sports.

I went out on "blind" date number two last night. I hadn't put a whole lot of thought into the "date" aspect of the night since I'm a little disillusioned with internet dating. I find that I don't like telling people that I'm going on dates with women who wrote to me over the internet. Of course, that's why I'm publically telling EVERYONE here, right?

I think it stirs up the insecurity that maybe I'm not good enough to actually meet women elsewhere or that when women meet me in person, they don't want anything to do with me.

Of course, I know these are stupid insecurities - especially when I look back at the women I have been blessed to be in relationship with.

So I had a great night and once again, have no idea if we'll see each other again or not. I like that I can go into an evening like that and not think too much about outcomes. In other words, I like having the ability to appreciate the moment and not get off-track with wondering if there will be a next time. There will be a next time if it's right for there to be a next time.

All that aside, of course, I still spent the evening going in and out of being shy, nervous, confident, distracted, totally present, engaged, disengaged, calm, anxious, excited, inspired, feeling awkward, having lots to say, having nothing to say ... and on and on.

When I wasn't all caught up in my head, it was just really comfortable spending time with this wonderful woman whom I'd never met. We have a lot in common and I apprectiated her for her intelligence, passion, presence and humor.

So ... we'll see. I believe that everyone comes into your life for a time and a purpose. Sometimes you will meet someone who is in your life for a lifetime and sometimes you will know someone for only part of a day. And though we often want things to be a certain way, there's an elegance in asking for what you want and accepting what is.

I not particularly tied to many outcomes right now ... I'm just enjoying experiencing life and seeing what comes when I don't hold on so tight.

Okay, I lied ... I do want to get A's on all my midterms next week. But other than that, I'm easy.

That's right ... you heard it here first ... I'm easy.

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

You're easy?! Why didn't I know that!? Did I ever tell you one of my names from my light-airy past was.. Ease? I hope you get all A's on your mid-terms, Statistic's Boy. I think the fact that statistics is your favorite class is great, but I love geeks. It sounds like you are having fun dating, so...have fun, let yourself. You'll be in another relationship soon enough and you're in school right now, focus on yourself for a little while. I hope to see you when I'm back in Cali. I actually watched 2 baseball games this week, ssshhh don't tell anyone, especially e, he'll want me to watch B-ball with him.
Smooches, Snow White